Day 1 back to Zen

This morning has been a rough one for me. Up at 5:30 to do yoga, meditate, pay bills, and get ready for work. I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to, but It’s a start. I’m exhausted and my eyes are on fire. However, this is something. I am doing SOMETHING to try and help pull myself out of my depression and that is always better than nothing. I had all these dreams and goals and I really need to get back to that. I need to get back to striving for a degree in something I love and looking forward to waking up each day for no reason other than I get to and what I might encounter that particular day. I need to get back to happy. That is all so much easier said than done in the midst of depression, however. I will get there, I won’t let myself give up. Not for me or my husband and most definitely not for my amazing kids who deserve every good part of me. Life has been cruel and unfair to me so far and I never really had a chance for it to turn out any better than it already has. I have worked my ass off for it to turn out THIS good and this is pretty miserable. All that means, though, is that more of this is in my control than I like to give myself credit for and I can improve my situation with some extra effort. So, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Check back later but I gotta go wake the kiddos and have this day full of positivity that I am so determined to have!


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