When the world turns upside down

One day everything is as it always has been, and you truly believe all is fine and will continue that way. Nothing feels or seems out of the ordinary and you don't see it coming in the slightest. Then, as fast as a blink everything changes and all you can do is stand idly by... Continue Reading →


Day 1 back to Zen

This morning has been a rough one for me. Up at 5:30 to do yoga, meditate, pay bills, and get ready for work. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to, but It's a start. I'm exhausted and my eyes are on fire. However, this is something. I am doing SOMETHING to try and... Continue Reading →

Speak, Just Speak, A Poem

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, most of them are torturous and cruel but they stay, I can't bring them down to my lips to let them out, I'm scared that if I do, I'll never be looked at the same again, Although I'm not so sure if that's a good... Continue Reading →

Chaos to Zen in 10 Steps

Lately my life has been the most chaotic and stressful it has ever been. I have been yearning to run away and hide and to jump into different skin because mine has become so uncomfortable. I have become someone I don't recognize or particularly like. I am turning into an invisible nobody and doing so on... Continue Reading →

What happens?

What happens when nothing feels okay? What happens when there doesn't seem to be a solution? What happens when all you feel is pain? What happens when love is no longer a real thing? What happens when you want nothing more than for it to all be over but youj know that's not an option?... Continue Reading →

It’s Official.

I feel invisible and at the same time right in the middle of everything and everyone is starting right at me. I am frozen and cannot breathe. My eyes want to close and to pretend I am anywhere else but they cannot move. I have rocks in my stomach weighing me down so that I... Continue Reading →

pity party

Why do they call Bipolar Manic Depression as well? That makes it sound like you're either super happy or super sad and there is nothing else unless you're normal which is another relative term for another time suppose. But Bipolar is so much more complicated than happy and sad. Its tortuously sad and insanely happy.... Continue Reading →

The Bipolar Brain

The bipolar brain is something I have been living with since I can remember, and it is so complicated and terrifying. Can you imagine going from laying on a sunny beach and relaxing to a sudden tornado coming out of thin air straight at you.  I have been through hell and back over and over... Continue Reading →


My oldest child is one I knew I would be raising on my own the minute there were two lines on that pregnancy test. Her biological dad is three years older than me, but definitely way less mature.  He urged me to get an abortion at first and when I told him I didn't want... Continue Reading →

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