Karma & Such

Not too long ago I was in a very dark place, my ultimate rock bottom if you will.¬† It was a downward spiral that went on for months before it finally consumed me.¬† I tried with all of my might to overcome it, fighting hard every day to turn it around or at least stop... Continue Reading →

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Switching Gears

So, my whole life "something" has been wrong with me. for the last twenty years its been in and out of inpatient treatment centers, phycologists, psychiatrists, on nearly every medication that is out there since I was 7. No two doctors had the same diagnosis and none of the medications ever worked. In 2014 I... Continue Reading →

Day 1 back to Zen

This morning has been a rough one for me. Up at 5:30 to do yoga, meditate, pay bills, and get ready for work. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to, but It's a start. I'm exhausted and my eyes are on fire. However, this is something. I am doing SOMETHING to try and... Continue Reading →

Speak, Just Speak, A Poem

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, most of them are torturous and cruel but they stay, I can't bring them down to my lips to let them out, I'm scared that if I do, I'll never be looked at the same again, Although I'm not so sure if that's a good... Continue Reading →

Chaos to Zen in 10 Steps

Lately my life has been the most chaotic and stressful it has ever been. I have been yearning to run away and hide and to jump into different skin because mine has become so uncomfortable. I have become someone I don't recognize or particularly¬†like. I am turning into an invisible nobody and doing so on... Continue Reading →

What happens?

What happens when nothing feels okay? What happens when there doesn't seem to be a solution? What happens when all you feel is pain? What happens when love is no longer a real thing? What happens when you want nothing more than for it to all be over but youj know that's not an option?... Continue Reading →

It’s Official.

I feel invisible and at the same time right in the middle of everything and everyone is starting right at me. I am frozen and cannot breathe. My eyes want to close and to pretend I am anywhere else but they cannot move. I have rocks in my stomach weighing me down so that I... Continue Reading →

pity party

Why do they call Bipolar Manic Depression as well? That makes it sound like you're either super happy or super sad and there is nothing else unless you're normal which is another relative term for another time suppose. But Bipolar is so much more complicated than happy and sad. Its tortuously sad and insanely happy.... Continue Reading →

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